Ichi Rittoru no Namida 一リットルの涙

I remembered I started to watch this series like… one year ago? But for some reasons… I just stopped at Episode 1 and discontinued it. Recently, I started to watch it again. Seriously, I can’t bear the sadness in me when I am watching this Jdrama. I supposed this is one of the most sad dramas I have ever watched. Cuz’ I cried in almost every episode and I think my eyes are going blind soon. That’s why I keep stopping from time to time and watch some other happier shows before I get myself blinded with tears again. But then again, by doing so, I am still able to be absorbed in the show again in no time and cried so hard, just like I have been watching it without pause. This is such a tearjerker and I feel so bastardized after watching this drama because I think I just might be like anyone who’s in the show revealing their annoyance in lending a helping hand to a patient every now and then. It’s bad, I know. That’s why I feel so bastardized. What I want to say here is just… I am glad that I woke up in the morning and I have control over my body. I am glad that I am still alive. I am glad that I can do what I want to do. I am glad that… I am able to help others rather than asking for help. However, I think this line: “Being sick is not a sin, it’s just an inconvenience” is still as meaningful. I don’t like to sympathize others, because that just mean that they are weaker than me. I mean… It’s like,I think everyone’s really equal. It’s just that the way you perceive others. I think it’s not sympathy they needed, but empathy. Understand them, rather than thinking them as “pitiful”. It’s insulting to be sympathized (for me). But I still sympathize…(contradicting, I know.) I cried hard, but I know I am still alive and healthy. I cried hard, because I hate the disease which tortures the poor patients so much. I cried hard, because I saw how life can be so realistic. I cried hard, because I saw the strength in Ikeuchi Aya. Maybe I don’t understand their pain… But what I can do now, is to live to my utmost . Moreover, isn’t life just like that? You won’t know what’s up for you tomorrow. 是否流了一公升的眼泪才学得会怎样去面对明天？ 那我宁愿不流这一公升的眼泪，但我会学会怎样去开心、知足。 纵然会有挫折、失败、灰心的时候，我希望我可以是坚强的。